Forbidden Bastard Read online

I can’t let myself feel again, but I’m not sure I can stop it either. I want to trust him, though the risk is too high. I’m starting to wonder if this grip he seems to have on me is more than just the glimmers of his brother I see resonating within him. I’m captivated and fall deeper into the dark pools of his eyes by the second, but instead of sucking the last bit of life out of me, it’s doing the opposite. I feel more alive than I have in a long time. My heart pounds beneath my chest with a feeling I’d thought was dead forever. Yet how can I crave something that scares the shit out of me?

  I pull away from his hold and step back, putting a much stronger guard up this time. After a long pause, during which I work to regain my composure, I force a smile to my lips. “I think it’s time to do some exterminating, bestia,” I say with a grin, hoping my slipping confidence isn’t evident.

  From his reaction, he seems to be amused. “Bestia, you say?” The teasing laughter that made my heart sigh earlier is back in his eyes. “I can work with that, sunshine, but I bet most beasts aren’t nearly as efficient with overqualified skills as I am. Let’s go check that last essential need off your list,” he tells me, and then we turn and walk toward the doors to Lucas’s nightclub.

  Two hours in and, true to his word, he’s introduced me many of his friends. I’m actually having a great time. Lucas hasn’t strayed far from me all night, but even when he’s not directly by my side, I still feel his eyes on me.

  He introduced me to many different people, but only two that he seems to be closest with—his cousin, Gianna, and his friend, Christian, who’s also his club manager. I never really imagined that outside New York people would know who I am, but I suppose in this world, it’s normal for the families to keep tabs and know what they can about the other families too.

  It’s odd to be here, though. I feel like I’m balancing on a tightrope between my old life and my new one. I suppose it’s a gradual transition. These people I’ve met tonight aren’t too different from the ones I know from home. Only here, the questioning stares aren’t because I’m Elianna Nicchi, the last living namesake of the Nicchi family. No, they’re staring because I’m Elianna Nicchi here with the bad boy beast, Lucas Ruffinelli. The attention doesn’t really bother me. I’m used to it, and for the most part, even out of my element, I’m not uncomfortable.

  I’m city girl at heart and was born street smart. I see everything happening around me even when people don’t know I’m looking, which is precisely how I spotted the creep across the bar who’s been watching me a little too closely. I know I’m not imagining it because every time I casually look around or look up to talk to someone in his direction, he immediately looks away, not wanting to be noticed. Poor guy—too bad I’ve already mentally ingrained images of him to memory. Before the night is up, I’ll have his photo too, as a backup.

  I’ve ignored the creepy watcher for the past twenty minutes, but it’s starting to piss me off a little. Or it could be more probable that four ginger ale and bourbons later, I’m just a little bit braver and feistier.

  Lucas and Christian are both on the other side of the bar looking at the screen on one of their phones. From where I’m standing, I can see Lucas’s profile, and for a second, he doesn’t look happy. He nods at Christian and then looks over, his eyes immediately coming to mine. Just as I’d suspected, he knew exactly where I was. Without taking his eyes off me, he says something quickly to Christian before heading my way.

  Before Lucas makes it around the bar and to me, Gianna pops up in front of me, blocking my line of sight from the bad boy beast who was making my eyes go all starry. Shit. I should cut myself off. What the hell am I thinking?

  “Come on, Eli, let’s hit the dance floor,” she says loudly over the thumping of the music, lifting her arms over her head as she sways her hips seductively. I laugh. I might actually like this girl. She’s really sweet and seems genuine, but I’m not sure the bad boy beast would agree from the scornful glare he pins on her when he finally makes it through the crowds to where I’m standing.

  “Gianna Fiore, don’t make me cut you off and kick you out of the club,” he growls with the muscles of his jaw flickering. “If Elianna wants to dance with you, you can take her upstairs,” he orders.

  My mouth twitches with amusement. “Want to discuss it, bestia? I do enjoy dancing. You wouldn’t really keep me from hitting the dance floor and having some fun with Gianna, would you?” I ask with a smirk, taunting him with flirtatious determination.

  “Elianna,” he warns, his tone thick and unsteady. The bad boy beast has no chance of hiding he’s annoyed, frustrated, and probably a little pissed too. Stepping so close to me I might as well be in his arms, he causes my breath to hitch from the energy between us. He looks down at me contemplatively as if trying to plan his attack. I’m frozen motionless in place as a sigh catches in my throat. Focused on his unrelenting stare down, I swallow, which earns me a grin before he wraps his arms around my back and pulls me closer to him. I’m not sure if this is for show or real, but it feels good. Tipping his head forward, his forehead meets mine, and our eyes connect. “Principessa, there’s no fucking way I’m letting you go out there to be man handled, but if you insist on going out there and shaking that gorgeous ass of yours, you’ll do it with every man in this club believing you’ve been claimed. So, do your worst, sunshine. Just know in advance, I have sharp knives at the ready, and since I can’t have what I want most right now, I have plenty of energy to burn.” The serious tone in his voice affects me deeply, and a brief shiver ripples through me. I can’t deny the spark of excitement at the prospect I could be what he wants most right now, but how can the threat of dismembering anyone who touches me turn me on? He could be exaggerating, but I don’t think that’s the case at all.

  “I think I’ll stay here a second more before I abandon you to find some trouble, bestia.”

  He growls again, pulling me tighter to his chest, and I try to convince myself I’m acting when I rest my cheek on his chest. Others surround Lucas and me, and it feels so natural to be hanging out and laughing with friends, but it doesn’t last too long before Lucas is once again interrupted.

  A large scary looking man walks over to Lucas, speaking in hushed tones for only the bad boy beast to hear. Lucas doesn’t let me go from his side, but I watch his brows straighten and his jaw flex. Something is up. I can read the signs from years of experience. Lucas nods then shares a look I don’t understand with Christian. Turning to me, he places his lips on my forehead.

  “Principessa, I need to go take care of something. I’ll be back in a few minutes. No trouble for you until I return, sunshine. When I get back, I’ll take you to the dance floor myself and show you how us overqualified beasts can move,” he jokes, offering me a forced smile that doesn’t meet his eyes. I’m not sure why this is different, but it is. I don’t want him to go. What if the problem is a big one and puts him in harm’s way?

  “Wait, Lucas. Take me with you, please,” I plead. He looks at me quizzically, but then shakes his head stiffly. With his right arm sweeping around, resting his palm on the other side of my head while his thumb discreetly finds the pulse on my neck.

  He tips his head so that his lips are just over my ear before speaking. “Elianna, care to explain the sudden spike in your heart rate?” he asks. I give a barely noticeable shake of my head.

  “Are you scared, sunshine?” I pause. Am I? I don’t really know, but I decide to go with no even though it’s probably a lie.

  He reluctantly pulls back, holding me at arm’s length to look me. His eyes catch mine and hold them tight, assessing me as if he’s some sort of human lie detector. I’m not sure I’m hiding the possibility of my lie well. The serious look on his face pulls at my heartstrings, and I know that right now, he really does care. There’s no way this could be just for show.

  He tugs me closer, wrapping one arm around my back and using the other to hold my cheek over his heart. Holding me tight, he speaks to Christian over my head. “Watch her
closely. I’ll be back up as soon as I can.”

  He takes a deep breath and squeezes me in his arms one last time before releasing me. After taking one final glance at my expression, he steps away and exiting the group.

  As he passes Christian, he speaks firmly. “Interrupt me immediately if Elianna needs me. Got it?” His tone is authoritative and angry, not at all like it was when he was whispering to me.

  Trust him.

  8

  - Feeling -

  Elianna

  Lucas slipped through a door about halfway down the long, carpeted hallway guarded by two tough guys wearing dark suits and sunglasses. Both throw off the unapproachable, mean-guy personas well. I’m sure to those not associated or familiar with the family life, they could be confused as bouncers, but they are made-men. I could call that from a mile away. There’s only two species of men, a made-man and a regular joe. Like everything else in life, good and bad exist on both teams. Unfortunately, from the way things have been happening the past few years, I’d suspect the made-man team might be running short on the good guys.

  There’s no doubt which team Lucas Ruffinelli is playing on, and I don’t need any verbal confirmation to know he’s both feared and respected. Ugh . . . I just really hope he’s one of the good guys, though.

  I really wish there was a way to find out what’s through that door I saw Lucas go through almost a half hour ago, but I’m fairly sure tonight isn’t the night to go exploring. It’s odd, though. It almost looks like some sort of VIP area, but I know the VIP section is upstairs. Gianna said Lucas usually banishes her up there when he doesn’t have time to keep an eye on her. The hallway has super dim lighting, so I can’t really see too much except a few different doors, but I can almost see a shadow of another man standing outside the door Lucas went through. It’s probably another guard.

  Something is definitely going down. When Lucas approached that hallway a while ago, the two protector ogres quickly went on high alert and haven't relaxed or let down their guard for a second since. I noticed them before, and they had been talking casually and seemingly relaxed.

  I’m not sure why I’m worried. I shouldn’t be, right? This is completely normal in the everyday ‘family’ life. For whatever reason, the business aspects haven’t bothered me before now. Though, maybe I would’ve felt differently if Matteo had any involvement. The risks associated with this life are all too familiar, unfortunately. Even clean hands didn’t save Matteo.

  With just the thought of him, a lump rises in my throat. Not happening. I refuse to let my emotions get the best of me here, tonight. Lifting my half-empty glass to my lips, I drink until I hear the ice cubes clink. That damn sure better help if I’m going to have to feel the pain of forgetting these emotions tomorrow. I discreetly open my clutch to check the time again. Forty-two minutes and counting. Okay, so yeah. I’m definitely worried now.

  Christian is behind the bar talking to one of the bartenders, and Gianna escaped to the dance floor a few minutes ago. She said she needed to have some fun before Lucas comes back and banishes her to the VIP area. In desperate need of a distraction, I decide it might be a good time to find the ladies’ room. I place my glass on the bar, but before I’m able to step away, Christian calls out to me.

  “You okay, Eli?” I nod.

  “Just going to the little girls’ room,” I tell him with a forced smile. I’m anything but okay, not that he needs to know that, though. He holds up one finger and then stands on some sort of step or platform behind the bar, giving him a couple of feet advantage over the heads crowding around. He looks over in the direction of the restrooms and then at me.

  “Too crowded, Eli. Go to the private ones down that hall. Second door on the right,” he tells me, pointing at the hallway the ogres are securing.

  I try to wipe the surprised expression off my face and act nonchalant about it, but I don’t think I play that off well. I think the combination of the mixed feelings and the overall confusion with what the hell is happening to my life could be causing emotionally instability. Christian gets the attention of one of the guard ogres and gives a signal before pointing down at me. Obviously, the ogre understands code because he replies with a quick head jerk, which hopefully means he’s going to let me in. But there’s still a chance he could’ve misunderstood and thinks Christian just told him to choke the life out of me. Guess we’ll see.

  I smile at Christian again as he steps down from the ledge, offering me an approving thumbs-up. Here goes nothing. I turn and start squeezing my way through the crowds in the direction of the hallway. Sometimes, it really sucks to be short. At five-foot-three plus wearing heels, I would’ve thought I’d be about average height, but it seems like most people in here still tower over me.

  I’m trying hard not to be annoyed by all the bodies rubbing up against me as I try to move through the gigantic but very crowded room. If this place were empty, I could have reached that hallway in just a couple of minutes. It can’t be more than thirty yards away, but whatever, I guess it’s good Lucas’s business is thriving. Is it too selfish to wish it could just be thriving on another day?

  My mood is literally deteriorating by the second, but it goes from bad to nightmare in a split second, and there’s no question I’m in trouble. A big arm snakes across my abdomen, and I’m yanked roughly into a large body behind me. Immediately feeling the sharp-edged blade pressed firmly against my lower back, he gets my attention. I gasp as pure fear ripples through me and glitters in the back of my eyes, realizing too late how stupid I was to become so distracted.

  “Don’t make a sound, Elianna, or you’ll be joining your friend Matteo sooner than we were planning,” the man tells me, his voice cold and exact with his mouth close to my ear. There’s no possible way out of this situation without a fight. No one who would realize this isn’t normal can see us. Walls of bodies conversing and dancing are shielding us, and I’m sure it looks like we’re dancing right now too. I’m so screwed.

  I can’t see his face, but there’s no doubt in my mind it’s the man who’s been watching me and giving me the creepy vibe all night.

  “Who are you?” I ask, my voice broken, attempting to choke back the emotion. He cackles an evil laugh, and I realize immediately that there’s a strong possibility I’m not just in trouble, but I may also die at the hands of this insane man.

  “You can call me the grim fucking reaper, princess. Been waiting all night for you to step away from your keepers. Lucky for you, I haven’t come to kill you this time, but soon I will. Right now, I just have a message for you,” he seethed, his tone dark and nasty.

  “Tell me, and get the fuck away from me. Or else you'd better be willing to kill me before I kill you, asshole,” I spit out the hostile words, blinded by my anger. I’m no longer concerned with possible outcomes. My heart is racing with a sudden spike in my adrenaline.

  I want to fight him off. I know I can get out of this hold he has on me, and if I can do that, I can get away too. But more than I want to fight him off, I want the message he’s delivering. If this asshole knows anything about Matteo, which clearly he does, I have to know who he is and what he knows.

  “You really are a feisty little bitch, aren’t you? I thought I’d get some good tears from the little mafia princess, but it looks like the princess likes getting roughed up. Is this turning you on, Elianna? Don’t worry, princess. I won’t let you die a virgin.” My stomach turns with disgust at his vile words, but at the same time, it flips a switch for me, taking my plans in a whole different direction. I no longer have any desire to fight to escape him. I’d rather fight to kill him, but not until he tells me what I want to know.

  “What the fuck do you want with me?” I sneer, almost breathless from my rage.

  I can hear his breath in my ear, but he doesn’t speak right away. Pressing the blade a little more firmly against my lower back, I feel the cold metal meet my skin and know the sharpness has cut through my dress. Live or die, I’m not sure I even care anymor
e, but I need answers before I can accept either fate.

  “Stay away from the Ruffinelli boy and keep your mouth shut. We know you’ve been snooping around, and you know what happens to nosy bitches?” he asks with icy calmness. I don’t answer this time, so he finishes. “They get dead, and there’s no one left to save you now, princess. Do what I say, or you’ll be paying sooner than you think, and just so you know, I’m watching every move you make. The Nicchi name means nothing anymore now that your little boyfriend and daddy are both dead. That means I now own you and will decide your fate.” A sudden chill hangs on the end of his words, leaving me in a thick cloud of rage.

  He thinks he’s going to own me. That’s hysterical. Guess the joke’s on him because I’m not afraid to die if it’s the price I must pay for my parents and Matteo.

  I haven’t stepped one foot in a ring since the last time I was there with Matteo. He’d tell me to do what I must do to escape, but the option to stand down and get away left the minute he reminded me that the people I love most are dead. Call it a death wish since this asshole has a knife and I’m ultimately at a disadvantage being at least half his size and wearing heels. Plus, I’m not in fighting fit shape as Matteo would tell me, but there’s absolutely no chance this asshole is going to get away without feeling some kind of pain.

  I know once I make my first move, I’ll have to finish it, but I know what to do, recalling every move Matteo and I practiced. It’s time for someone to pay for this pain I’ll never be able to escape. Game on, fucker.

  Relaxing my knees, I don’t give him any indication I’m about to make my move. I start the countdown in my head. Three seconds, starting now.

  One. I can no longer hear anything except my own heartbeat. I’m in the zone.

  Two. I feel every single point of contact he has with me.

  Three. Hope I make you proud, Matteo.